I've said before that there is more to domestic violence than just the physical abuse. One of the most effective tools my abuser had at his disposal was finances. Money. Without it, how can a victim leave? For me, it wasn't just a denial of money. There was more to it.

I ended up with my credit destroyed, which is making it very difficult for me to find an apartment. It also cost me jobs. I applied for a job, and everything looked good... until they requested my credit score because I would have access to a company credit card. Nevermind that I have no idea what most of the items on my credit report are because I didn't authorize them.

He forged checks on my personal bank account. Stole one right out of my purse; he stole it from the middle of the checkbook, knowing I don't often write checks. When he went out to the store one night, I found the phone (he hid it and disconnected the battery - it was a cordless, and the only one we had) and called the bank - I was shocked. A huge check that I didn't write had posted to my account and bounced. Huh? So I opened my box of refills.. and guess what? One of the refill packs was missing, too. Never did find it, but I know now that he took it. He wrote a check from it while I was at the courthouse filing my protection from abuse order. Again, it bounced, and I was assessed a fee. Even though I had placed a stop order on the check.

I had had housing assistance. He was head of household at the end. He took full advantage of that and lied to them, too. Of course, the housing authority refuses to acknowledge that I didn't know anything about it until it was too late, and now I can't get help with affording a place on my own.

So - he's managed to leave me with ruined credit, a looted bank account, not enough income to afford a place (I'm disabled) and being told I can't receive assistance... and I'm supposed to start over HOW?

Labels: abuse, credit, domestic violence, financial abuse, housing, recovery, survivor